My dad died last Saturday, February 18th, in the very early morning. It was completely unexpected. My family and I are working through our grief. We probably will be for some time to come. I was supposed to go paint that morning at a fantastic local park just outside Austin, Commons Ford, with the Plein Air Round Rock group I belong to. It would have been ok with the family if I'd gone, but in the confusion and shock of adjusting to a "new normal," I just didn't have my painting supplies ready or even with me, so I didn't go. I have another chance to paint plein air this Saturday, February 25th, with another group I belong to, Plein Air Austin. They are painting in the South Congress area of Austin. I could get up really early, get down there and try to finish by about 11am, which would still give me time to get to my dad's service at 1pm.
Does that sound insensitive? To go out painting on the day we bury my dad? Somehow, I really don't think my dad would mind. I think he'd be ok with it. We'll see how the rest of the week goes. . .
Over the years, my dad and I have had our relationship obstacles to overcome. But I am so glad he ended up being proud of my art. It was his idea to come to the reception for my first show at Lamppost Coffee House in Round Rock with the Plein Air Round Rock group. I told him the walls of the coffee house were a little dingy, but he and my step-mother chose to extend their time with me by one week (delay their scheduled time at a vacation time-share they liked) in order to attend that reception. The whole evening was positive. Our paintings brightened up that place, and my dad enjoyed himself that night, I think. He talked to everybody, (about himself. . .LOL). He liked to talk about himself. But that was who he was. He was an interesting and charismatic person. And his talking about himself didn't change the fact that he was proud of me. It means a lot to me that he got to see my paintings, and that he was proud of my art.
I'm realistic (but hopeful) about my ability as an artist at this point in my journey, and it was nice to have a cheerleader, even if his opinions weren't totally objective. He really didn't have a trained "art eye," but he could see improvement over time. It was nice when he noticed the improvement and commented on it. Even if he wasn't an artist, he was creative, and he could understand the impulse in me to want to create and take workshops and improve.
I really did learn to try from him. If he had an idea for something to build or to create with tools, he just planned it out on a pad he kept next to his chair. He worked out a whole plan for a hydraulic staircase, up to the loft, in his house. I learned from that and from other countless examples just to do whatever was on my mind and in my imagination. Just figure it out, and do it. Maybe it will be crap, but then again, maybe it will be successful. You just don't know unless you plan it out and try. And time is your friend. Improvement comes with time.
I wish I could find the one picture I had of that reception with my dad in the background, his hands out gesturing about whatever he happened to be talking about at the time, probably his career as a teacher and principal in the Austin ISD, or his achievements in making improvements to one house, (mine), and building another house from scratch (in Cloudcroft, NM). But I have looked all over Facebook and all over my phone and my Google photos app, and I can't find it.
If, this Saturday, I end up with a painting that is presentable, I can post it for sure. Maybe my dad will show up spiritually somehow on Saturday and encourage me. Maybe I can go paint in my dress clothes, and I won't get paint all over them in preparation for when I attend the graveside service in the afternoon. Nothing's for sure. Maybe I'll risk it. We'll see.
Judi
Judi
(Originally posted 2/22/2017 11:31:03 PM by jeb using FASO.com - 5 Comments)
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